Glitcherella, my Murphy’s Law infested side, tends to stick to technology to get tangled up in. Tonight it was technology related shopping.

I was grocery shopping in Walmart, minding my own chocolate buying businesses. Okay, I got other things, but not so strangely the chocolate section of this shopping event is what stays front and center of my cart item recall. Milky Way, for the curious fellow chocoholics.  There was a display table prominently positioned for late Father’s Day shoppers. I circled it slowly, in case something good was there, like the harddrive DVR I got one year at such a good price I still think the sticker was a mistake.

Suddenly a Nikon Coolpix digital point and shoot practically leapt into my cart. Um, I helped a little…. Even my old, er…old, old one still takes better pictures than my phone, so multiples of my current megapixels count were just too tempting. Did I mention that it was for a great price? The slightly metallic purpleness of it made it a thing of beauty that matches my dreaming koala hue. Of course I helped it leap.

Big, huge (let’s quote Lela here and make that big, “honking” huge, which concludes the quest for my Futurama quote of the day) mistake.

Apparently, Glitcherella really, really wanted a new camera to torture me with. I have never seen such a shopping disaster in my entire deeply devout shopping life.

Once the groceries were lugged inside and secured, and chocolate cake had been eaten (priorities, you know), I got the camera out of the box. The theme of the night being what it was I shouldn’t have been surprised.  My beautiful new camera was smeared with chocolate! Yes, you read that right. Even a chocoholic does not want a chocolate coated camera! Sheesh.

I must have been in shock, because I actually cleaned the dried chocolate off…the lens cover, part of the front, and a bit of the side. It looked halfway okay and I was really curious to see if it would actually work. I went to put the battery in. The battery compartment door fell off! What the–?!? As I started putting it all back in the box to return it, a glint of light winked (sarcastically) up at me off a scratch by the edge of the lens cover.

Of course I was/am furious. I’m also sensible. I went right for the receipt, called the store, got my figurative hands around the distant throat of a man in electronics and told him exactly what happened. He didn’t even blink (verbally). One has to assume that a customer calling late at night to make sure there will be no problem returning a scratched…broken…chocolate covered camera is not so far outside his norm that it would make him express, at the very least, mild surprise. Jaded much. He said no problem. I said thank you. Then I wrote it all down, including his name. Glitcherella knows all about documentation.

Being an imaginative type, I have a theory of what happened. Someone bought the camera. Said someone’s little chocoholic junior saw it, chortled “Oooh, purple! Shiny!” (my imagination made the grubby handed child a Browncoat; no clue why since Browncoats are good people). Grab, smear generously with melty chocolate, drop harshly, frantic parental repackaging, returning, pokerfacedly saying they just didn’t like it, accepting refund…aaand skeddalling like the scoundrel they are. The store people never checked inside the box. A potential Father’s Day gift for some lucky man who will never see it almost made me happy instead.

The moral of this unfortunately true misadventure in electronics acquisition? There is such a thing as too much chocolate…on a camera.


Never let Glitcherella go shopping!